It is once again that time of year when, um...great...performers from around Europe are brought together to battle each other until the end! Exciting, isn't it. Eurovision, my friends. This year it's in Turkey. Who knows where it will be next year? My dad tried to explain the way the contest works this year...But I still don't really get it. There's something about finalists, and how certain countries already pre-qualify due to last year's scores. I'm most likely wrong. Go here:


I count 36 participants. If you go to Multimedia Lounge and watch all of the videos, you will be frightened by some, and pleased by others. Mostly frightened. So I find it helpful to view the videos with closed eyes, if you catch my drift. I went through every video and wrote a few sentences about them. I must say, however, that most of the countries had surprising improvements from their chosen groups from last year and the year before. Take Russia, who for some deranged reason sent T.A.T.U. to Eurovision. The girls' performance was crap (seriously...I don't think they can perform well live), but they snagged 3rd, if I remember correctly. Two years ago, Denmark's Marlene Mortenson had an *amazing* song, but she landed with the lowest score -- a total (once again, if i remember correctly) of seven points. I'm still bitter about that. She should of at least gotten 5th. Cyprus and Greece (although Greece's entry is still...well..you'll see) have the most improvement contestant wise. But onto what I recorded. Countries with an asterisk (*) next to the name are my favorites. Here goes:

Albania: Oh. My. God. All that goes through my mind right now is "epileptic ponies" for ballet dancers. Anjeza has a good voice...the video was like a Mr. Rogers visit from the neighborhood of hell. I hope the dancers don't show up at Eurovision.

*Andorra: Nice vocals, music is advanced. Might help if I knew what the hell she was singing about. But must remember that you don't have to have an English song entry. Where IS Andorra?

Austria: Boy band. *twitch* That's all for that. Sadly, boy bands have no place in Eurovision. Take it from Greece's S.A.G.A.P.O...No place at all. But at least I understand what they're singing about!

Belarus: ...no to the strange medieval theme. The music is alright... I think it's the lady singing, but I'm not sure. The man with her looks like a young pre-medical complications Ozzy.

Belgium: Cher wannabe. Do you believe in life after Eurovision?

Bosnia & Herzegovina: Falco + Billy Idol + Boy George look-alikes for dancers. The song isn't too bad, but I don't think it's gonna fly Eurovision style.

Croatia: Could work for a movie sound track. But lose the backup singers, Ivan. Lose them raw.

Cyprus: Video: she's obviously never done lipsyncing before. But she has a good voice.

Denmark: Lyrics aren't half bad. But the music isn't anything original. BRING MARLENE BACK!!

*Estonia: Very advanced video. Yessss...make your drummer look like the devil and you shall prevail! I like that the singers' voices aren't screechy or shrill. Very throaty and robust. Powerful vocals. Let's hope they do more than just stand in a circle and wave their arms around come Eurovision.

Finland: It's what would happen if Ricky Martin ate Donny Osmond (thereby gaining a few pounds), but then Donny took over Ricky's brain and made Latin-sounding music more easy-listening-ish...Modified Tango music. Me no likely.

*France: Good vocals, good music. It doesn't really stand out too much...but it's not bad. I can't understand French very well, but making guesses after seeing the video, the song must have a good message to it. Unless Jonatan is singing about drugs and taking over the world, but putting a different video to it... oooh, tricky.

*Germany: Better than Corinna May. I'm happy the vocals aren't whiny. He's obviously worked on his English. Max and his eyebrow just might take Eurovision by storm!

Greece: Dear lord, why? Matthew Broderick, is that YOU!? Better than S.A.G.A.P.O. (this is the second rip on them!)...and yet...WTF, MATE?!! Shake it!

Iceland: "I still miss you, and it makes me feel blue.." My, my, aren't we the clever lyricist! Oooh: German shep. doggy!

Ireland: Nice vocals, really. Not going to rock Eurovision, however. But it's nice. Maybe...maybe TOO nice...

Israel: ...I don't get it. It sounds alright...but he's not gonna win.

*Latvia: I'm biased because of a few things...I understand every word they sing, Fomins and Kleins crack me up, and I love LOVE Latvian rock (especially the 80's ^_^ )! The music is good, the lyrics are nice. I don't think they'll take first...they have the sound that could get them far, but the image is kind of off. Like mentioned before...this screams 80's rock. But it's original.

Lithuania: It's good that the Latin tang isn't too overbearing, but the "trumpet rolls" sound awfully similar to the ones used in Maria Naumova's "I Wanna..."

FYR Macedonia: Way to dress like Prince, poofypants. However, it's pretty cool musically. Nice vocals.

Malta: Stupid lyrics. But it sounds interesting musically. It's like that one Sarah Brightman/Andrea Bocelli song, "Time to say Goodbye."

Monaco: Other than the fact that I don't understand the language, nice beat and nice vocals.

Netherlands: They sound tone deaf. What? Who said that? Was something even said?.... remind me of Evon and Jaron. Or however you spell their names. They're brothers who sing and they don't suck.

Norway: Not too bad, but there's too much emphasis on the backup singers.

*Poland: She's like a white Macy Gray, and he's like Eric Clapton. Interesting new musical theme introduced. No variation in lyrics, but I like it. It's catchy.

Portugal: Had to cut this one off early. Scary.

Romania: Well...music isn't the most original...neither are the vocals -- not enticing at all. But I found myself not bored.

Russia: Avril is now Russian? I hear 0% of her guitar, and 100% of the synth.

*Serbia and Montenegro: Cool sounding. Instrumentals and vocals blend well. Oooh, violin! Yipee!

Slovenia: A blonde Cher teaming up with Paul McCartney?

Spain: Hello, Ricky! Enjoy your stay in Spain! *coughWANNABEcough* Not bad vocally, though.

Sweden: I have a bad feeling about this one. She dances better with her microphone than she sings. But she has stage presence. She knows exactly what she's doing. Musically I guess it's kind of original. She could actually go far. But I don't really like it...

Switzerland: I want to cry. But I think I shall celebrate and clap my hands instead...

*Turkey: Killer guitar. Raaaaarr!! Run away, run away! But seriously, very original. Kind of punk-ska-ish. Makes me happy!

*Ukraine: Happy with the drum beat, and the vocals are nice. The lyrics make me kind of sad because they're stupid in some places and remind me of other bands, but performance wise and musically it's amazing. I finally agree with my dad that Ruslana could get rather far.

United Kingdom: Nothing special. Good vocals, instrumentals. But it doesn't stand out.

That would be all, folks. I suggest looking into the Eurovision scene. Become more worldy and wow your friends with your new knowledge!

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